I've realized one thing about myself, I can't handle too much stress. Experienced my first panic attack, totally sucks by the way. -___- Music used to help a lot with stress but lately nothing seems to help. Of course everyone seems to encounter some sort of stress when college is involved, especially in the first semester. The root of my stress isn't all of the tests and papers, it seems to be all of the pressure I put on myself. I know that I am capable of doing pretty darn good in school, but i psych myself out. Hopefully things get better, but I doubt it will anytime soon.
On a lighter note, I met a few new people. I can call one my friend. The others are just someone to talk to during class. Friends aren't something that stick around with me. There are a few that have stuck around for a while, but who knows how long it'll last. For most, it's hard to understand the complexity in my life. I've had to endure too much pain at one time, when I tell my story the first reaction is "I'm Sorry"..I'm sooo tired of people saying it. It doesn't mean anything anymore when people say it. In all honesty, I would rather be left alone because it's easier than letting people into my life, maybe that is why friends don't last.
I'm no way near someone that is anti-social. I love meeting new people, but it's hard to let them into my world. The few that I have let in left, and it still hurts.Yeah, I'm pretty sensitive, but so what? It's what I get for keeping things bottled up, guess I just have to deal with it by myself.
I have to do this paper on self-perception, how ironic?
LATERR !
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